The Grit Factor Podcast w/ Karl Jacobi

TGFP Ep 33 Audio

00:00:00 Speaker: Average is the enemy of greatness. Comfort is the enemy of growth. Welcome to the Grit Factor podcast, where we strip away the highlight reel and get into the darkness beneath it. The real stories, the real battles, and the battle plans used to conquer them. I'm your host, Carl Jacobi, combat vet, entrepreneur, resilience and performance coach, keynote speaker, husband and father. I've built, scaled, and exited multiple companies totaling over forty million in revenue. But here's what that highlight reel doesn't show you. Life has been smacking me in the face with a two by four since I was just five years old. Broken home. Constant chaos. No playbook. No safety net. Just grit. And if you're anything like me. You know, you've got another level in you, in your business, your career, your faith, your leadership. You're just not sure how to get there. That's exactly why we're here. Be sure to follow me for more great content, and check out my website success with Karl dot com. Now that's Karl with a K. Now let's get to work. All right. Welcome back. We are joined by another guest who built the kind of resume that most operators only get to dream about. Super excited for this one today, guys. He's a real estate investor and educator, best selling author, speaker, high performance coach, fifteen year U.S. Navy veteran. Walked away from the Navy five years. Guys, listen. Five years before his pension. Pension was supposed to hit because by then he had already engineered the kind of passive income that made really essentially his pension worthless for that, for the most part. Senior manager senior managing partner at Kelly Housing Group, owns controls and has directly been involved in nearly two thousand income producing units apartment communities, mobile home parks, RV parks, storage units, you name them. Number one, best selling co-author of military House hacking, board of directors at Active Duty passive Income, helping the men and women who serve or who swore to protect this country actually own a piece of it. Certified command financial specialist who taught hundreds of sailors and Marines how to build wealth while still in the uniform. He's also authored books on credit, home buying, and the mindset behind real success guys. So please pay attention to this episode. We're going to go some real cool things. I'm super stoked for this. Bachelor's in organizational organizational management from Ashford University. Ironman finisher summited Mount Kilimanjaro. Yeah, what? I always screw this name up Kilimanjaro. I know I screwed that up again. He's a drummer, scuba diver, currently married, and lives right up the road from me in Tampa Bay. We're just jamming on that in the green room for Hit the Record. This man's resume reads like a high performance dream whose mission today is to help other operators build the exact same thing. Tim Kelly, my dude, welcome to the show, my man. Man, what an intro. Carl. Man. It's my pleasure. Uh, let's let's get into it. Let's get into the good stuff. Yeah, man. I'm ready man. You know, you know, I'm an open book. An open book, bro. So let's dive in. Yeah, man. Love it dude. Yeah. We've had two calls already, right. And, uh, it's been great conversation. I'm so glad that we're somewhat local and we can jam out more. So yeah, let's dive in. Tim. Before the Empire man and the life you get to live today, you're a kid that dropped out of college and signed up for the Navy, right? So take us back there. Paint us that picture. Um, who is that version of you? The week before you signed the paperwork. You raised your right hand. Um. And you went down that road. Like, what was that picture you thought you were stepping into? Yeah. No, man, I would be glad to. I'll try to keep this short. It's I mean, my entire life has been like a series of identity transitions. And I think a lot of people go through those seasons. But yes, you know, I was really just like a confused kid, you know, right outside of Chicago, grew up in the suburbs right outside of Chicago and, uh, failed out of college because something inside of me was like, this is not for me. I just don't want to do this. I just wasn't pushing myself. I wasn't aligned with the whole idea of go to school, get a degree, get a job, just work really, really hard for another company, and then you'll find success. Like it just didn't resonate with me. Even though our whole entire school system is structured around you. That is the success idea. And I think people are getting smart these days, and I think they know it's not. But that was, you know, in two thousand and five is when I, I joined the Navy. I graduated high school in two thousand and two and went right into college, failed. I had a couple different jobs and like serving. And I was also a drummer in a band. I thought at one point I was going to be playing music for my whole life. And, and so I went from really a confused kid, you know, you know, grew up outside of Chicago, dropped out of college. And then I just, you know, joined the Navy. I became a rescue swimmer in the Navy. And then I, where I was embodying like the whole mantra of so others may live. And then I went, you know, ten years in, I realized, dude, I don't know if I want to do another ten years of deployments and, and leaving my family just to get this pension, like. Yeah. And so I knew there was more out there. And so that's when God led me into real estate. And I ended up partnering with other service members to buy apartment buildings and mobile home parks and other commercial assets and did that for a few years. It was a lot more fun, a lot more lucrative. And that's also when I connected with the founders and the co-founders and now my partners at Active Duty Passive Income, where we're helping, you know, past and present service members and their families create wealth and financial freedom by owning more of America, the land that they swore to protect. But then I got out and, um, I realized, you know, I didn't want to do another ten years. I did investing, building the active duty passive income. I got out at fifteen and a half years. And that was bold, right? Yeah it is man. I know we talked about that. That's crazy. I went to building wealth and I had all this freedom through real estate. And then I realized, freedom means nothing if you don't have the responsibility and purpose to handle that level of freedom. I went down a dark path. I didn't have the same level of freedom. I didn't well, I didn't have enough responsibility to handle the level of freedom that I have. And then I went down a dark path. Mhm. I just over the last year recovered from that, built even more freedom because now I'm doing this in God's will, not for my own selfish desires. Uh, I met the right woman. She's on my side. She's my partner. She's my angel from heaven. And now we're building it together. But man, that's awesome, dude. That's that that's a huge, heartwarming story that I think a ton of people can resonate with, you know, not only because of, you know, the, the, um, the dream that too many people get sold, right? Uh, you know, go to school, you know, you work a forty, fifty, sixty hour plus job and, you know, that's the life, right? Um, but and I know, you know, just before we hit record, you're talking about just, you know, things have changed since we last talked. You know, we had our pre booking call me, you were talking about how, uh, you know, so many hours have been freed up to get the quantity, uh, every week, man. I'm just like, dude, this is so amazing. I can feel your happiness. I can feel your enthusiasm. I can really sense that you're passionate about this. And this really drives the point home that when you're passionate about this and you're really following the path that's been laid out for you, man, it is so much more rewarding. It's so much more fulfilling. Um, and, uh, you just, everybody benefits, right? And, uh, man, we're, we're already giving some knowledge bombs, man. We're like, what, five minutes into the show already? But, um, so you mentioned you just got over this darkness. I definitely want to get into this because you, you threw it out there already, right? You had a massive amount of freedom to enjoy, but it also led to the, you know, the, the pretty much the darkest time of your life. So, you know, let's dive into that. What, what was this cascade of events? You know, just let's walk into that journey, man. So yeah, I mean, just to really recapture, like I learned the hard way that more freedom doesn't automatically make your life better, you know? Agreed. Um, so financial freedom and like, you know, time freedom is not just about escaping work, Carl. You know? Yes, I agree wholeheartedly. It's about becoming responsible enough to use that freedom well. Mhm. Right. Say that again, because I want you to say it to the person out there that has actually thinking you're crazy right now because a lot of people are listening to you right now. And there's a portion of my brain that's like trying to wig out because a lot of people just heard you like you're, you're high because they're thinking the exact same thing, right? So tell them again, but help them understand why. Right. Give them the why behind why it actually takes more responsibility. It takes more discipline to actually to, to have that kind of freedom for the person listening. Don't just ask, how do I get more freedom? Ask, am I becoming the kind of person who can handle the freedom I'm asking for? Mhm. AM I becoming the kind of person who can handle the freedom I'm asking for? Okay. Wow. Um. When when when this is kind of like a maybe a more relatable idea, but like when that person at retirement age, the typical retirement age, fifty nine and a half. Right? Yeah. Okay. I'm done working now. I have maybe enough of a nest egg where I could just withdraw four percent of, you know, my couple hundred thousand until I die, and hopefully that will last until I perish, you know? And then they just sit on a porch in a rocking chair with a, you know, whether they are drinking a tea and smoking a cigar or whether they're drinking a beer and smoking cigarettes or whatever they're doing, that does not last very long. Agree. But that's been the pipe. That's the pipe dream that so many people are sold. And that's the illusion that so many people and myself and I actually had that illusion for a long time. Like there's supposed to be some type of destination, right? That we get to, the where it is. We're coasting there, you know, for however many years until we expire, until we lose these blue marble. But you're you're saying, which I agree wholeheartedly, especially in this season of life that I'm in, that it's actually the quite the opposite, right. You know, I mean, going from the military structured, you have to wake up, you have to report to somebody for muster. You have to you, you are not only responsible to people, but you're responsible for people. Mhm. Not only are you, um, having to stay in peak physical condition, but, you know, you can't go get DUIs or, you know, you can't go do drugs because you're about to get tested, you know? Yeah. So there's, there's these standards that you have to uphold. There's missions, there's specific targets no matter all the time. There are specific targets. Yeah. When you lose that structure that you are used to, and you're not used to creating that own structure for yourself, that requires responsibility and discipline. Right. And I think the military instills that in us. It gives us the tools, um, to show up, to work hard to embrace teamwork and, uh, and discipline and grit and resilience. Right. Yeah, I agree. Um, but when you experience freedom for the first time, you will be tested. And if you're not prepared to step into a higher level of responsibility with your level of freedom, it is, it's going to be unsustainable. So good. I, I, I agree wholeheartedly, man, I agree. And look, man, I actually had targets I got out because I was building a commercial real estate portfolio. I was helping build. Now, what is the premier military real estate investing education community? Active duty, passive income, where we've helped thousands and thousands of service members create wealth through like our academies and masterminds, our biggest annual event for military investors, we host that. It's the military re icon. And so like we, I had all these different targets, but I just didn't have enough responsibility to handle the level of freedom and stay on target and stay on mission. And I went through a dark time, man, learned a lot of hard lessons. You wrote one sentence on the intake that and you admitted this earlier too, that I keep coming back to. It's probably one of the cleanest confessions you could possibly make with Freedom Comes or with freedom comes responsibility in my level of personal responsibility did not align with the freedom I had, right? Again, that is like a very clear confession admission. And as well as ownership as well of what happened. Right. So take us to a specific moment in that season, not to summary, not the, the, you know, the headlines, but a very specific scene. Take us to that moment, man. What drove that? I honestly think that it was it was my um, there are a lot of factors, but my moral compass was off. And I'll say this like my whole why for getting into real estate in the first place, because I wanted financial and worldly wealth and possessions. Yeah. You know, I was driven by more money. I was driven by the things wanting houses, different houses in different parts of the world and wanting to just take lavish vacations. And, um, of course I knew that would, like, give me the freedom so I didn't have to, like, work a nine to five, you know? But my moral compass was off, and I was doing it for my own selfish desires. And when I had the level of freedom I was, I was really embellishing on those selfish desires. I traveled a lot and I wasn't focused and. I wasn't focused on what was in front of me. I wasn't focused on adding more value to more people. I was focused on my own selfish desires. And yeah, um, that poured heavily into my marriage and I wasn't, um, showing up in the way I should have. Um, and there were, you know, a lot of other, you know, factors why the religion, the relationship ended the way it did, but it led to a divorce led to a really dark, ugly time in my life. And it was a time where I had all this freedom. I had more abundance and more money than I, you know, than I ever thought I would. But I didn't have enough responsibility. And I was depressed. I was had anxiety. I, you know, I was isolating myself. Um, and, you know, I made a lot of irrational decisions because my moral compass was off. And, um, you know, the turning point for me was when I, when I remembered, um, you know, that I, I connected with some men in the Navy that. Were godly men and they taught me to pursue a relationship with God and to get into God's Word. So you can kind of get closer to him so you can understand him more. And then you could be obedient to what he wants for your life because he's in control one hundred percent. We realize it or not one hundred percent. He's in control, man. Yep. And so, um, yeah, that's when I kind of sort of leaned into my own relationship with God. And, uh, you know, I love it, man. And I, I was, I was reading his word to like, try to understand him more and get closer to him. And I was attending Bible study with men who were godly men and also business owners. And, um, and then I, I started to feel more free. You know, I started to feel, um, and I started kind of like my moral compass was back to where it should have been the whole time. And that's when, um, I made a lot of pivots. I moved to Tampa. Um, I met my now wife who was, you know, a gift from God and um, with, with her. And I like, you know, we were able to build something very, very special. We just celebrated our one year anniversary. So we've only been married for a year. Awesome. Congratulations, man. And, uh, it was just like, But now, you know, I just have reached even higher levels of freedom in such a short period of time. Because like, once you already have the mindset, you've already proven that you could, you know, achieve a level of freedom once you already have the skills and you have the relationships and the people around you, you don't just like lose all of that. So the cool thing, if you're not relying on a job or an employer like you, you skill up, you have the ability and capability to rebuild it all from, from zero, you know? Yeah. Um, and I was very, very thankful for that. And now it's just like I, every, every day I surrender my life and my finances and my future to God. Um, because he's in control. I give him all that. Like when I wake up in the morning, it's my holy hour, I pray and then I read the Bible and now it's all about him. Um, and that's, uh, that was a huge, huge pivot for me and the reason why I was able to now achieve that level of freedom. And now I think he's testing me, you know, with this, with this level of freedom. Um, now that I have and, and so, um, now I'm going to use it well, and I think I have the, the level of responsibility to handle it. That's awesome man. Thanks for sharing a glimpse into that. We only have a short period of time together. Fortunately and unfortunately at the same time, because I feel there's so much more that we can learn from you. But I know I mentioned this just before we hit the record button, but those of you that are not watching this on YouTube or watching videos of this, he's got a sign or a sign, uh, you know, behind him it says discipline equals freedom, right? And hyaluronic, or are we talking about this with that sign in clear display discipline does equal freedom, right? But it also comes with great responsibility, you know, and, uh, to that point, man, uh, this really reminds it just really instills how important it is to stay disciplined. Even when you start to develop momentum, even when you start to gain success, because it is so easy to deviate off course, get seduced by this and do things that you shouldn't be doing right. Whether you're more your compass is off track or you just coasting or whatever. Um, this is why celebrities and people that you, we all, I say view as successful are the most miserable people on the planet, right? Because they don't, they don't have any direction. They don't have any true compass. They don't have anything that that is truly that you're chasing, you know, especially a relationship with God. And if I heard that that was your pivotal moment was giving up control, right? One hundred percent man. I, I, I did I and you know, I want to be very, very clear. Um, you know, like don't think about discipline. Um, that word. I think there's a stigma, you know, there is, I was getting ready to say that, man, there's a bad stigma that like discipline is like restriction or punishment. It's literally the structure that gives you access to the life you actually want. Yes. When you stay disciplined with your body, you get freedom of energy, confidence, strength, longevity, longevity of vitality. Like when you say discipline with your money, you get freedom of options, ownership, wealth accumulation, the ability to protect and provide for your family. You know, and when you say discipline with your faith, you get freedom from drifting like I'm so scared of right now, but I, I fear God more than I fear that. And so I'm staying disciplined in my face so I could have so I, so I stay disciplined. Like I get freedom from the ego, from the fear, from the spiritual laziness. Yeah. You know, when you, when you say discipline with your marriage, your and your family, you get freedom to lead, to love, to provide, you know, and build a legacy with the ones that you love. Um, whether whatever you're doing in your life, like, and there's different facets of our life and kind of just to give you a under the hood cover, I have five assets of or factors of life, my five life arenas that I have goals like what is the one thing? And they actually spell out the acronym grows G r o w s. God is the number one. So I create goals around God. R Rama, Rama, my relationship. That's my wife. Oh is like my occupation, my my investing, my coaching. Like what am I doing for work to add value in this world? Yeah. W is my wealth. Like, what am I doing for my long term wealth? And then S is my strength, my vitality, my physical strength, my fitness and nutrition. So I, I, I have to stay disciplined. Like, what is the one thing I need to do this week and stay disciplined on it to move my life forward in those five areas. So it's like discipline for me is like, how do I become the man who could be trusted with the freedom that I keep asking God for? Mhm. Without discipline becomes chaos, man. At least for me, you know. Well, I think that's true for everybody. I don't think that's just, you know, to you, I think that's what everybody. And that's what's ironic. You know, we pray for these things or we wish these things or we put this stuff out into the universe. But, um, you know, when we start to, you know, experience some of this, um, we're not capable of handling it. Right? We're not, we're not responsible. We're not responsible enough to handle this. Um, and this is why people constantly hit the ceiling. Whatever that ceiling is, right ceiling either in their income. The ceiling. The relationship ceiling in their businesses, ceiling in their in their health, even. Um, you know, and I have experienced that throughout my life several times, my health, finances, businesses, all those different things because we, we, we want X, right? But what we hold ourselves to or the standard we hold ourselves to reflect completely different because, you know, we're not yet ready for that kind of responsibility, whether it's, again, in our finances, in our business and relationships or health or anything in nature, uh, or even spiritually. That's, that's the other aspect of that. You know, it really does come down to doing the work consistently every single day, whether you feel like it or not, whether you had a great day. Um, and it's like, I don't have to do anything today. That is the exact day you gotta lock in, right? That is the exact day you got to go to the gym. That is the exact day you guys stay disciplined. We don't have to do it because, well, you know, nobody tells you you have to do it or because now you've got money sitting in a bank and now you feel like coasting and taking it easy. To your point, what you said earlier, that is just the universe God testing you. One hundred percent. The only thing on my calendar today that I obligated myself to or that I committed to was this podcast with you. Man, I'm so honored. And then one and then one more coaching session, uh, later on, um, working with a commercial real estate investor and he's going from residential to commercial. So we're helping him with the mindset and the tactical implementation of how to get into apartment investing. So that's all I have. But I was up at five a m because I have to do a holy hour. I have to move my body. Today was upper body strength, followed by core, followed by breathwork in front of a red light, followed by stretching. Mhm. You know, followed by a cold shower. Love it man. All. All that. Plus, I did about two hours of deep work on my my own personal brand and authority. Mhm. Because that matters for what I for what I am doing. And the way God gave me a gift to help other people reach new heights and next level up. And your brand, your authority matters, right? Especially in today's times, man. Dude. So, so I did all this before our session today. You know, it started for, you know, if you're listening, it started at eleven a m eastern time. So yeah, I didn't have to do any of that. I could have woke up at what, ten thirty? That's right. Jump in the shower. Yeah. And just come right on this podcast. But you think I'd show up in the same way if that's what I did. No no no. And I'm here for you. I'm here to deliver value if you are listening. Discipline creates freedom. You know freedom is not doing whatever you want, like wherever you want. But I've learned that the kind of freedom actually, that kind of freedom turns into caste. If you think of freedom is like, I'm just going to go anywhere I want with whoever I want, whenever I want, on my own terms like that all sounds great. It does. Right? It does. If you don't train your body, you're going to lose energy. If you don't manage your money, you're going to lose options. If you don't control your calendar, somebody else is going to fill your calendar for you. Oh, one hundred percent dude. If you don't master your emotions and learn how to regulate your emotions and release trauma and release your emotions, that's something I'm a student of right now is learning how to I'm here with you. I'm with you. Release traumas and process emotions teaches us how to like, know, respond to react like dude, for men, we have egos, we hold things in, we don't really like. We don't express our emotions. Right? Nope. But you're right, man needs us to be able to do that. I agree wholeheartedly, man. Thank you so much for saying it loud. Because, you know, especially for us fellas, that that's a hard one for us, you know, to, to go down that road to, you know, talk about all these different things. Because for the longest part of my life, man motions was one of the biggest demons of my, of my life, you know, controlling them and, um, not and not just controlling them, but being emotionally available for others. Right. Um, you know, for, for a large part of my life, I found myself emotionally closed off to people, not because I didn't want to be emotional to them, but because I was protecting myself. At least I thought, right. That was the perception that was protecting myself or maybe protecting them. Right. But, you know, unfortunately, you know, led to near catastrophic events, as I'm sure you can imagine, your prior military and you, I'm sure you made some deployments, right? So, um, it went nowhere fast. So real quick, before we keep rolling, maybe life hit you hard. Business fell apart. Career isn't working out. Relationship ended. Health took a dive. And now you're standing in the rubble. Trying to figure out what the next move even looks like. Or maybe nothing blew up at all. On paper, you're winning. Sure. But on the inside, something's off. If you're not in crisis, you're at a crossroads. And the playbook that built the life you have is not the playbook that builds the one you want. Either way, you're stuck. Not broken. Stuck between who you were and who you're becoming. Most self-help just piles more weight on the load you're already carrying. I do not want to do that. I put together a free video series called the Grit Code Exposed, and I want to invite you to check it out. Seven short videos. That's it. The five laws that change everything for me. In every client, I coach the same five that every person who's ever come back from the fire has walked through where they had a name for it or not. No fluff, no ninety minute webinar, no bait, just the free video series. You can start it tonight. Grab it at grit. Code exposed dot com one more time. Grit code exposed dot com. It's free. You don't need any more hustle. You need the next version. And this is how you find it. Check it out. See if it speaks to you. And if it does, I'll see you inside. All right, let's get back to the conversation. But man, let's let's pivot a little bit because, you know, I want to start getting into some, you know, meat of what you're doing today. But, you know, before you left the Navy, you said you're, you're blessed to be introduced to the men who encouraged you to get into God's Word and pursue a personal relationship with him. Um, that was an introduction that did not happen by accident. Right. Walk us to it. Who were those men? You know what? Where was that conversation? What was the moment you decided to actually open up the book and dive in instead of just nodding away? Man. Yeah. What shifted for you between that version that we were previously to who you are today? Yeah. I mean, before we kind of dive into that, I think it will be helpful to understand, you know, where everybody has their own spiritual journey. Um, yeah, one hundred percent. And I grew up, um, getting my sacraments, as in like the Catholic sacraments. I got baptized when I was born, I got my first communion, you know, I had got reconciliation confirmation. And like, I went through those as like, just kind of checking the box, you know? Mhm. But I'm with you. We never like when I grew up, I never was around a family or I never even thought about the whole idea of like, let's actually go to church regularly. Let's actually get into God's word to really explore what that means and let's build a relationship with him. And I never even like thought of that whole concept. Left, right. And so I had the sacraments and I saw like I was blessed by him. I was baptized and all that, but never once did I pursue him. And, and I was, I was blessed to come into contact with these men at my last duty station before I left the Navy, um, who were in. I was in the chief's mess in the Navy, and these men met every single, every single week for lunch. They would go out and it would be basically like a mini, um, uh, men's group iron sharpens iron. Let's talk about God's word. Let's help each other out. Let's help each other in our own spiritual journeys. I'm like, this is interesting. And then they did like Bible studies once a week on Zoom, everybody from their own home. We just did like Bible studies on Zoom. We like had to read a portion of, of a chapter and then we talk about it and what that actually meant and what called out to us and like how we interpret it. And so then I'm like, wow, this is this is really interesting. These are profound characters in the Bible. These are pretty interesting stories. And then I realized, like all the personal and professional development books that I read, you know, and I was obsessed with personal, professional, professional development that I think helped me get to the level of freedom. Like, you know, all the mindset books, all the psychology books, the rich dad, poor dad, how to win friends and influence people, you know, the, the ten X, you know, all the mindset books, discipline Equals Freedom is straight from, uh, extreme ownership by Jocko. Right? That book, again, it's mindset like, and then I realized like, all of these books are literally just rewarding lessons from this Bible. That's true. All these personal professional development lessons are coming from the Bible. That's where they've started. That's like God created those lessons. Jesus spoke those lessons to his disciples. His disciples were reiterating these lessons. They were speaking them. They were promoting them, you know. And so the Bible is the best personal professional development book on the planet. And if I didn't read any books, if I only read one book, that's the book that I read every single morning. You know, I'm switching up Second Kings right now where I learn all the different kings of of Israel and which ones were following God and which ones weren't, which ones were making mistakes and which ones weren't which one ruled without getting killed and slaughtered by another random like, you know, nearby community like. And so I had this, this whole idea I was pursuing him and, you know, and I was really trying hard to build a relationship with him. But my now ex, she was not on the same page. Um, she wasn't really, you know, a believer. She didn't really want to go to church with me. We didn't really talk about it. And that is another thing that kind of drove a wedge into our marriage. We couldn't like open up and have those conversations. And, um, and so I, I lost a lot of that momentum, um, which led to the divorce and all this stuff. And so, but the minute I, I realized that all these things I'm taking on my own shoulders, the darkness that I'm in, I had all this money and like all this, like, woe is me. I was like a victim. Like I could just give it all to him. Like true. You know, I, I could just give it all to him. And that's when I got back into the God's word and, and started going to church regularly again and, and found local areas, men in this area where now I'm going regularly, um, each week to meet with them. And each month where I'm like more participating and giving my time to the church. And that's when I was the type of person that my now wife was ready for. And so that's awesome. You have to grow into the person that you want if you're looking for love. If you're looking for a relationship, you have to grow into the person that the person you want wants. That's true. You know, and that's, and I wasn't ready until I, I, I got to a certain level in my spiritual journey. Right. And that's, uh, that was a huge turning point for me. But I just, if I never had that conversation with those men while I was active duty, I don't know where I'd be right now. Mhm. What? You just what you were talking about, uh, with the weekly meetings and so forth. I don't know if you've ever seen this movie, but I've talked about this quite a bit. It's called The Forge. Uh, by the Kendrick brothers, um, amazing movie, as well as all the other movies they've produced. Have you seen that? No, I'm writing it down right now. I'm taking notes just so. It's a great movie, man. I know you get a lot of value from it. Anybody that's watching and listening, you know, check out the movie. It's probably the Kendrick brothers, but it reminded me exactly that. Right. Men coming together, sharp orange sharpening iron. There was a scene. I'm not going to give it away, but there's a scene in there that really just put that on display, full effect. It's like, oh, um, but thanks for sharing it because oftentimes it is that moment, right? When we, we, we're, we're faced by our peers, I say faced by our peers, we come to our peers. And that's when we pivot into a different direction in terms of our growth and so forth. Um, and I'm also the, the belief, and I think you believe the same thing. It is our environment that dictates how we grow. Right. Um, either we surround ourselves who are either ahead of us, preferably ahead of us, or, you know, right at our shoulders that are chasing spiritual growth, that are chasing wealth, that are chasing, uh, growth in every aspect of their life. Right? And then, of course, having people that you could pull along with you. Um, and I've been in environments, I've had to do a big detox several years ago of people that I realized, man, once I became aware. Right. And it's ironic, man, once you become aware, um, of, of your environment and realize the toxicity, the, the, the negativity and just the mindset, man, it's like, oh, you know, I mean, it's really, it's like, oh, um, Carl, I mean, nothing dictates your success more than the people you spend time with. I agree with you one hundred percent. You won't just accidentally fall into rooms full of people who are achievers, who are strivers, who have already accomplished the things that you want to accomplish. You have to be very intentional about finding those rooms and getting into those rooms. And oftentimes you have to. There's a fee. Like you have to pay a price of financial fee to get into those rooms. You know, there's networking events like there's, there's free. You can probably look up like, let's say if you're, you know, in real estate or whatever, you're trying to buy properties, you're trying to get into residential or commercial real estate. There's a monthly real estate investing meetup probably in your city, wherever you're located. There is. And then you can probably go to the first one for free. But then if you want to keep going, you probably you have to pay a monthly fee. Oh yeah, one hundred percent. If you want to join a real mastermind of people who have already accomplished what you are looking to accomplish. There's going to be a fee. It's not like you'll accidentally just find those people. You have to be very intentional about it. You have to be willing to invest in yourself and your future. You know, and a lot of people are not willing to do that. A lot of people are like, oh, I'll just go. I'll just do it on my own. Like, look, you cannot succeed in isolation. Exactly. I, I agree wholeheartedly, man. You know, isn't it ironic and how people can say that? But you look at anybody that we view as successful, they they have mentors, they have advisors, they have coaches, they have people around them. That's, that's pouring into them. Right? Um, so yeah, and that's an interesting point because I'll admit, you know, for a large part of my life, I didn't believe in coaching. I didn't believe in mentors. I didn't have it, you know, I mean, I come from a broken home. Um, and I had no sense of direction. I thought if you were successful because Gandalf put the nod, you know, it gave you the nod, like, hey, you're going to be successful. It's in your bloodline. I thought that was just my belief, you know? And it didn't help that my mother, for a large part of my young, young life to instill that Cali never be successful. You never you never, never, never, never. Right. And so that was my belief for so long. And it was so hard to shed that. And sometimes, man, it still hits me. You know, it still hits me. And, uh, so to the people right now that are, that are listening to you talking, you know, about investing yourself, I'm of the belief and I think you would agree. And I think this is what you're alluding to. That is the ultimate largest, the best investment you could put is in yourself, right? Put yourself in those bigger rooms. And because unfortunately, I've been around people, I've had to shed myself of that skin too, who just want to absorb the free stuff, right? They just wanted all the free stuff. But are you really getting value on the free stuff. You know how like there's this, there's this thing that has gone on. I was like, hey, knowledge is power. Well, knowledge is potential power, right? Because education without action is useless. So good education without action is useless. And like education without actual implementation is useless. But here's the thing implementation without the right guidance is expensive and dangerous. You got that right. And a lot of people are afraid to make those mistakes. They're afraid to take action because they're in fear of making mistakes, but they're not willing to get into the rooms to help prevent those mistakes. And look, they think about the cost. Oh, I don't want to, you know, pay a thousand bucks to go to this seminar or to be in the right rooms or to rub shoulders with the people. And they think they think about the cost. Okay. The cost of inaction. The cost of doing nothing is way more expensive than the cost of making a mistake. Agree, man. Agree. Think about like, what is the cost of doing nothing and then staying in that same position? Yeah. Where are you going to be in six months? Where are you going to be in twelve months? Yeah. You know, and the biggest reason why people are afraid. To go after that big goal, even if they have a deep rooted. Why? Is because it requires some level of change. Carl. Agree. Change is hard for people, man. It is. We're sitting here. We're sitting here today as a result of, you know, all the people. Of course, we have spent time with. Just like we said, they. Yeah, inevitably will affect you. We're sitting here as a result of all the things we've learned, like all the training, the education that we've gotten, the skills that we've gotten. And then lastly, we're we're sitting here today as a result of all the decisions that we've made up until today. But if we want to change our future, if we want to change or accomplish something different, accomplish something real, like make a big impact. If we keep doing the same things, if we keep making the same decisions, if we keep learning the same things, if we keep hanging around the same people and expect to just get that thing. That's the definition of insanity. Insanity, right? So we have to change the people we spend time with. We have to change the things we learn. We have to change our decision making process. Agree. Agree. And that's the change. That's hard for some people just to step into those environments, learn new things and make it like learn a different mindset of making decisions. That's literally the key that will unlock your next level, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I'll tell you that like being a high performance coach, I get. I really get to help high performers who have already achieved a certain level of success get to that next level because they've gotten to where they're at by hanging out with certain people, by learning certain things, by making certain decisions. If they want to get to that next level, they got to change. And three reasons why the high performers, maybe this applies to you right now. You know that why they stay stuck, why you might be stuck right now is because you confuse activity with progress. Number one. Yeah. Number two, you are you're chasing like perfection. Perfection. Mhm. Like you need to have one hundred percent understanding of what that looks like other than just getting momentum and getting started. And lastly, the third thing, the biggest reason why you might be staying stuck right now, why you're not getting to the next level, why While you might feel like you have a glass ceiling above you is because you're measuring yourself against what where you think you need to be versus measuring what you've already accomplished. Mhm. Okay. You're, you're measuring yourself. You're comparing yourself to either other people where they're at in their journey, which is very unfair, or you're measuring yourself in your, you're measuring your, you're comparing yourself to where you think you need to be. Oh, I'm, you know, twenty five or I'm thirty five or I'm forty five, whatever it is, I think I should be at this point. Look at that forty five year old. He's got this and this and this. It's the absolute worst thing you could do. But regardless of what level you're at, right? You only should be measuring yourself against where you were yesterday. Agree six months ago, twelve months ago. Yes. But I think this is where I think this is the downfall for a lot of people. When we look around. Right. Social media, I think, is probably one of the one of the biggest vehicles for this because people get on Instagram or whatever platform of choice and they start comparing themselves, right? They look at, you know, the Joneses next door, brand new Mercedes or the house or the sales. All these different things. And they start, you know, immediately like, well, man, what's wrong with me? Because I can't have that, you know. Well, you know, to your point, you know, aren't you screwing yourself because you're comparing yourself to somebody else? You're probably a lot more competent in your specific area than that person is in your area. Right? Um, yeah. It's so good, man. Comparing yourself. I, I hear this a lot. I want to hear your take on this comparison is the thief of joy. What is your take on that man? Because that is so like just talented around. But I think that's taken out of context. I mean, realistically, it's what we're what we're talking about. Because if you're not counting your wins, if you're not recognizing how far you've come, you're constantly looking at that next level or comparing yourself to other people, you're not going to be happy with where you're at. There won't be a level of fulfillment to keep you going, to keep you happy. You know that next thing is that next thing. And once you hit that next thing, you're going to always be looking at that next thing and comparing yourself to the next person. You know that's true. That's true. It's a thief of joy. Because if we're not doing this to have a level of joy, why are you doing this? So true man wins. Like consider your wins daily, even like, write them down and journal. What did I accomplish today? Like, yeah. Where, where, where did I help someone today? But a lot of people are just thinking about what didn't I accomplish or where did I fall short? Sure, you need to understand those and assess those so you could improve and get better. And. But these are lessons learned. These are. This is not how you label yourself. The most successful people have failed more than anybody else, man. They just kept going. They're like, alright, sweet. I just learned that mistake. I'm not going to make that mistake again. Yeah, you wake up the next day and you go figure it out, right? Yeah. You just keep moving forward. Soldier on. That's it. Yep. Soldier on. That's right. Well, I mean, why do we fall, right? So we can get up again, right. Um, you're not falling. You're not learning the, the mistakes, you know, and I agree, this goes back to like the whole mentorship in iron sharpens iron. Like smart, smart people are going to learn from their own mistakes. But geniuses learn from other people's mistakes. And it's true being around people who have already done what you're trying to do, who actually care about you, want to see you succeed. They like. I'm telling you, man, you know this, I know this. The people who have achieved a great deal of success have gotten there because they worked with coaches and mentors who helped them, who picked them up. So the people who are the most successful in your industry, if you go try to like take them out to lunch or try to buy them coffee, nine times out of ten, they're going to be happy to do that. Yes. And they're going to be happy to extend their lessons learned over to you. Yeah. And extend like help you any way that they can. But most people are not bold enough to ask. You're right. You're right. One hundred percent, man. And honestly, dude, I for anybody's watching, listen, if you didn't get anything out of this freaking episode, which would be stupid if you didn't, I mean, so much freaking gold here on this episode, but if you didn't get anything out of this, do what Justin just talked about, man. Freaking go buy, go offer this person you look up to that you view as successful anybody that is in a level higher level than you go offer to buy that person a cup of coffee or a beer, whatever. Um, and sit down and open your ears, open your ears and just absorb like a freaking sponge. And do not be afraid to vest whether it's time something earlier, Carl, I said, you can't succeed in isolation, right? Which is you got to go out there. But here's the thing. Before you go do that, this is where you need to isolate yourself, okay? You need to put the work in. You need to like educate yourself and train. So before you even go, try to reach out before you even start marching up a ladder that might actually be leaned against the wrong wall altogether. Mhm. Run a simple high performer gap audit. And it's very simple. You're going to take three different areas and you're going to score yourself from one to ten. Right now, the most important is clarity and ask yourself, am I clear on who I am, where I'm going, and what actually matters right now? Like, what is my why? Like, where am I like, who am I? What do I bring to the table and why is that important to me and what do I need? Like get clarity around that and assess yourself on a scale from one to ten. Just that's it. Just assess yourself from one to ten. That's clarity. Second, is your energy, like how much physical mental stamina do I have right now to pursue what matters? Now, once you're clear on that, that should give you energy in and of itself, but agree. How much energy do you have right now? Physical and mental energy to actually pursue what matters to you. And the third is your courage. Okay, this is huge. What conversation, decision, or commitment have you been avoiding? Most are honestly like, I work with a lot of high performing like real estate investors, entrepreneurs, CEOs. They're very courageous in their work, what they do, the decisions they make, the negotiations that they're in. But they're not courageous where it matters with their loved ones family. And there's nine times out of ten, whether it's their spouse, their parents, their siblings, like people in their immediate circle of love, they're usually avoiding a conversation with one of them. Yep. They don't have the courage. They don't have the courage to have those deep conversations, but they'll go do multi-million dollar deals. They'll level up and work in professionalism. Why is that? Why do you believe that? That I agree. I that I struggle with that for for for so long. Right. You know, my wife and I have been married for twenty. Well be twenty six years in a few months. Um, and I know a lot of people can resonate with this. I've had conversations with people of the same type, not just with our spouses, but our kids and other people in our lives. I want to hear your your hear your input on this. Why? Why do you why do you believe that is the case? What what leads to that? Yeah. Yeah. Um, because we all have our own definition of, of freedom and success. Mhm. Um. Very few high performers are able to maintain high levels of success, like in their mind, financial work. Mhm. While maintaining their well-being and relationships. And that's just not how we're programmed. That's just not what we're ever taught, you know? We're taught to work for somebody else. So we could have enough money one day to hopefully like, enjoy it and retire. Hopefully, hopefully. But we have this everybody has their own definition of success and freedom. So if you're listening, ask yourself, how do you define success and why is that important? How do you define freedom and how is that important? Obviously, make sure you have the level of responsibility to handle that freedom. But then what is your why? Like that clarity is the first thing you need to do. Audit yourself on who am I? What do I do? Like, what value do I bring to the table? And what do I really need to get to the next level? That'll dictate your next move and why it's important. That'll dictate your energy, that'll dictate your courage. Because most of us are doing this for our families, so we can protect our families and provide for our families and give more, like give more. The most successful people are some of the most generous entrepreneurs, most generous philanthropists that I've ever met. But they're working so hard that they forget about their health and their relationships and their joy. And that's what I love doing. I love breaking all this down to because you've already reached a certain level of success, but like, where are you really falling short? That's going to make your success unsustainable. And it's usually those having those tough conversations and having courage to do that and maintaining your well-being and your energy, not sacrificing your health and your mindset just to go get more another thousand bucks that month, you know? Um, yeah, I agree man. No, this, this is good stuff, man. This is good stuff. Well, man, dude, you know, fast forward to today. You know, Tampa ran out the road for me. So, you know, you, you know, You know, you and I got a jam up in person now. But you know, Kelly housing group, you know, with, you know all the growth that it's going there. Eighty P I you know, it's helping more families than ever as you're so passionate about your coaching high performers like myself, you're speaking, you're doing all these amazing things. My dude, you know, before we hit record, you're just talking about some other breakthroughs. So just tell me and everybody else, what are you most what are you so fired up about right now? What are you most fired up about in this season of life you're in? Yeah, helping. Helping high performers who have already achieved a level of success break through to get more clarity, more energy, more courage, um, through, uh, challenge, through adventures and through, you know, elite level one on one coaching. And, you know, I led a group to summit Mount Kilimanjaro back in February and we already have three more adventure. Like bucket list type locations. That's awesome man. For the next twelve months and it's a whole coaching journey where we have weekly sessions leading up to the summit. When you're on a summit, when you're doing something very physically hard and demanding, you are inevitably going to build very deep relationships with each other because you're going to get very vulnerable, very open. You're going to express emotions. A lot of emotions are going to come out. We all left something at the top of the mountain that was no longer serving us, and weekly sessions like afterwards to reintegrate, to continue building our relationships. Now we're all like besties. We still have our WhatsApp group going, and we're already talking about the next adventure that we're planning. Um, and so I'm super excited because I have the level of freedom where I could just go travel and do bucket list adventures, you know, but now I get to take other people on those bucket list adventures, but not only just for fun and for an adventure, but like to really break through to the next level of clarity and energy and courage in their lives so they can add more value to the people that matter. Mhm. That's awesome man. Thanks for sharing that, dude. Real quick, before you go, if you're still with me this deep into the episode, something in it hits you. Maybe it was the guest, maybe it was one line. Either way, you're still here. And that feeling in your chest right now, that's the signal. Most people get a signal like that and do absolutely nothing with it. They close the app, life rushes back in. The moment's gone. Six months later, there are the exact same spot. I don't want that for you. So I put something together. I want to invite you to check out a free video series called The Grit Code Exposed. Seven short videos. The five laws. I walk every client through. The same ones that rebuilt me when everything else fell apart. And if you listen closely, you heard them running underneath the entire conversation because everyone who's come back from the fire walks through these five laws. Some find them on their own, some get help, but the laws don't change. Free video series. You can start it tonight. No fluff. No ninety minute webinar. Just the series. If you're going to do something with what you heard today, do this before life talks you out of it. Go to grit Code exposed dot com one more time. Grit code exposed dot com. And hey, before I let you go, thank you for riding with me this long. It means a lot more than you know. Thank you. I can hear your passion and enthusiasm. You know, as you're talking about this. And guys, you know, if you're only listening on audio, you gotta check it out because you just, you just feel it, right? You can just feel his passion, enthusiasm. You can see it in the video. Um, man, I know we could jam for a lot longer on this, but we both have to, you know, we have commitments after this. Um, well, I know I do, but as we start to close, man, I like to give every person just a, like a quick 60s. To give them a chance to talk to the version of themselves they were twenty years ago, as though, you know, there's another Tim out there that's listening to you right now. Right. Um, you said this numerous times. You cannot you cannot succeed in isolation. I want you to talk to this twenty years ago or any Tims out there. Look at look in the camera like you're talking to this person and tell them what would you tell them now if you knew then? Well, how would you coach this person? What would you tell this person? What does being. Cannot succeed in isolation alone mean? MM. So you do like I, I and I'm glad we we took a pause to talk about like in isolation. What's important is doing the education and training so you can learn the language or whatever you want to skill up and do or become like there's, there's a language that you, you have to learn. And right now all the information is literally free online. You could read books, you could, you know, invest books, you could look it up on YouTube, you could look it up on any AI, whatever AI platform you want to like, break down and give you all the education and knowledge that you would ever want. But knowledge without implementation is useless, right? And when you want to go implement, that's where you cannot isolate yourself. That's where you have to intentionally find people who have already accomplished what you are trying to accomplish, and who are willing to help you get to the next level. And they actually genuinely care about you. And you got to work more to save up, to invest in yourself, to put yourself in those rooms. That investment will be, uh, will give you the, the highest return on investment, the highest return on your time invested, and the highest return on joy. Agree wholeheartedly. There's never been I think you can resonate one hundred percent with this. There's never been a time where I have invested to get myself into a bigger room that didn't yield ten X. Absolutely, man. Never never never never. Don't be stuck on the cost because the cost of inaction, the cost of doing nothing is a lot more expensive. Okay, I heard this. You're in Tampa. So is Myron Myron Goldman. Uh, I love him to death. I he what he said I. I saw a video of his. It stopped me cold and it really changed my perspective of how I look at cost. I mean, I already had this perspective, but what do you put it out there? He said, well, people, when people ask him about the cost of X, he's like, I'm sorry, I'm confused. The cost of what? Of not moving forward, right? The divorce, the business pivot or whatever those things are. The cost of inaction, is that the cost you're talking about, or are you talking about the investment to move forward? Right. And that just when I heard him say in that way, I mean, subconsciously, like I said, for several years, I, I've, I've changed my perspective to look at it that way because I've been in this, I've been in those shoes and, uh, my first time writing a check first it was Ben Newman. I think you know who Ben Newman is. You know, retain him, uh, getting some masterminds and, and, and, uh, to retain him for some coaching. And, uh, man, that was scary, man. Palms sweaty, heart racing. But man, that was probably the most the best experience. And then, then ever since then, I've been addicted to get into bigger rooms, to get into bigger environments, to get into bigger thinking people. Um, that's where it's at, man. It really is. And I know there's the scarcity mindset of people that are looking at that like, well, you know, I just don't know. Okay, you know, I mean, dude, like I, I like, if I did not invest thirty thousand dollars in Robert Kiyosaki's rich dad real estate education program, I would still probably be floating in the middle of the Persian Gulf on a, on a deployment right now. But I had a conversation with someone who helped me realize this exact thing. If I just kept trying to figure it out on my own, I'm going to keep going down this path and I didn't want to stay in the Navy for another ten years. I needed to get out. I needed to find that that level of freedom. And if I didn't, I invested thirty K that I didn't even have. It took four different credit cards to do that, you know? Yeah. I think it takes putting yourself in a position where it's like, I'm going to do this and I'm not going to fail. Versus like getting a bunch of free information that where you're not really invested, that's complete mindset shift. It is when you're actually invested in something, that's when you start taking it seriously. That's when you're like, all right, I just invested thirty K in this mentorship and yep, you know, it's like do or die type of deal. And I put myself in that position. So I just didn't have a, like, I sort of had to make it work so I can close my first deal, get that acquisition fee, pay off all those credit cards. And then then I have the skills forever. I never lost those skills. I was able to literally do it for the second time. And yeah, dude, I'm just so thankful for that conversation that I had. So if you have had that conversation, if you're about to have that conversation, um, don't be afraid to level up. Don't think you could do it on your own. If you're okay with mediocrity and like having an average life, you could probably figure that out in your own right. You could probably do just fine. But if you want real freedom, if you want real options and you're looking to find other people who have already accomplished what you've done, invest in yourself and step into your rooms and just follow the process and trust the process and just get after it, man. And whatever you, if you think you're failing, if you think you're going through hell, good. Keep going because you're on the right path. Yep, one hundred percent, man, you're being stretched. That means God is putting you in this situation for a reason, because it's growth. You grow through those. These are lessons. Failure is just remove that definition from your vocabulary, like remove that word. These are you. Either you either win or you learn. There's no failure. That's true. That is so true. That's a good perspective right there. Good perspective. All right, man, as we wrap up, we've got some rapid fire questions, man. So much gold in this episode guys. So in this season of life, you're where you're building and you're being way more intentional with your time. What does grit mean to you in this season, man? Mhm. I mean that that grit is, um, leading into the, to the discipline to ensure my level of responsibility matches my level of freedom that I have right now. And I have a dangerous amount of freedom. I really, really do. But I need to maintain that level of responsibility. And I got to get disciplined. I got to stay gritty. Um, I have to keep giving it to God because right now, Satan is. And the devil, the enemy is pulling me in all He's planting some thoughts in my brain right now. Um, there's temptations out there and certainly is spiritual warfare is real, and I don't want to keep bringing up God and spirituality, but the more you pursue him. Amen. Prepare. Because the more you pursue him, the more spiritual warfare you're going to feel because Satan could go after a lot of different people. But most people don't pursue God. Satan could easily just get them down the wrong path. But he has to try really, really hard to divert people to to have people slowly drift, drift in their marriage, drift in their, their financial world. He works really, really hard. If you're pursuing God, if you're pursuing Jesus, if you're, you know, if you have a men's group, if you're going to Bible study, like there's more spiritual warfare in that environment than there is if you have no relationship with God, because those people are an easy kill for the yep, yep. One hundred percent man. So true. Man. So true. All right, last two questions. Uh, both of these that I've prepared you for in the green room. Uh, we are in the trenches, man. Whether it's in a moment or maybe you're just going through a very, very tough season, what is a quote or directive or scripture even that you use to pull yourself out of the trenches in that season or in that moment of darkness? I mean, I told you the best, uh, personal fulfillment, um, personal and professional development book on the planet of the Bible. And I literally have this quote, it's a Bible verse, um, plastered on my wall. Right next door is my home gym, a huge gym. And I have literally Bible verses all over the, all over each wall. And the one I put up first was Joshua. Um, the first Joshua or no Joshua, chapter one, verse nine. And it's, have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. I give it to him, man, I don't stress out. I surrender every single day to him. Whatever's going on in my family, whatever's going on with me personally, I give it to him and I ask for guidance. I pray, and I give it to him, and it's a reminder that he's with me. He's right here. Yeah. You know, he's right there with you, too. Whether you think so or not, he's right there willing to help, willing to listen, willing to be your, your, your, your moral compass. Like I needed him to be. Um, and that's probably one of the first thing that came up when you asked me that question. Awesome, man. That's so true. It aligns with something I, I repeatedly tell myself, as well as one of my coaches. You know, when I kind of get flustered on things, I do focus on the controllables. Thoughts, actions, beliefs. The rest of the guy, I'm like, yep, I got you. Focus on the controllables man and leave the rest to him. So at the end of the day, that's all you can do. Yeah, man. All right. Man. This last question comes in two parts before I give you my previous guest, her question. Uh, because sometimes I overlook it. Uh, I those are listed are watching. I love to give my guest, if you're listening for the first time, an opportunity to ask my future guest a challenge of their own. And the lineup is completely anonymous. So it's not like I told Tim in the green room, hey, my next guest is X or anything so he could do his research. No, it's completely anonymous. So my dude Tim, what would you love to challenge my next guest with? What kind of question would you want to ask him or her? Um, you know, I think I want to go back to, um. The high performer gap audit that very, very first question. I'm talking about some very successful people that I know. They're not clear. They don't have this level of clarity. So for that person and for you listening, I'm already going to give it to you again, right? Rate yourself from one to ten. How clear am I about who I am? What do I do? What value do I bring to the world and what do I need to get to my next level? Answer all those questions right and get really, really clear on those. And just rate yourself self on one to ten. Where where are you in that? If you're not an eight, then um, you have work to do, but a little bit more work into figuring out who you are, what you do, what value you bring to the table, and what you need to get to the next level. But mostly, if you're not at an eight, go seven layers deep on why is all that important to you? Mhm. Seven layers deep of your why. If you don't know your why, you need to figure that out. You need to figure out your why before you even start climbing up a ladder that's leaned completely against the wrong wall. Like I said earlier, you might be working so hard in the completely wrong direction where you're not really aligned with your purpose. Why God put you on this planet in the first place. Figure out and get clear on what I just shared you with and figure out your why. Go seven layers deep. Well, why is this important to you? Why is that important to you? Well, why? Why is like, go seven layers deep with yourself. Figure out your why. If it's not emotional, if it doesn't make you emotional, you're not going deep enough. You haven't gone deep enough, man. I agree man. Agree. So good. All right. My previous guest, Mary Kahn, had this question for you. An amazing, uh, badass. She she loves using humor to get her through seasons of life because she observed for too long that, uh, she took life too seriously, which I know for a long time I could resonate with. So her question for you is this. When you're in a moment that really calls for you to dig in with grit, do you do it from a serious perspective, or is there some sense of humor that you try to leverage to help you out, out of that moment or in that time? Yeah, that's a great question. Um, it is man. I think, I think it really, really, really depends, um, on. Where that heaviness is coming from, you know? Yeah. You know, and and, and for me, you know, we my, my wife, we went through, um, you know, we got married in the Catholic church and it's amazing because you have to go through premarital counseling and you really are forced to open up and really talk about some things that most couples would never even talk about and like, not even know that about each other before you get married. Yeah. So, you know, and we, we kind of had those conversations and learned a lot about each other through the process, of course. But then the priest said that was, um, that ended up marrying us. You know, he's like, you guys are polar opposites where, you know, your wife is like serious. She's intense. She's like really committed. And like, and Tim is like, cool as a cucumber, super laid back and all that. And I kind of, I kind of go back to that when we have conflict, when we have, you know, life stressors that are that are happening. We, you know, went through a really tough time and we lost our baby and, um, last year through a miscarriage. And it's just a huge thing for me. My number one goal is to become a dad. Still haven't been able to be a dad. God hasn't blessed me with kids yet. And that's what we're focused on more than anything else. And so that was tough. That was a struggle big time for both of us. And, um, and so I have to just give it to God, you know, and I have to know, and I'm just so thankful that it's just on his time. He's going to bless us with, with the amount of kids that he wants to have, you know, and so true. Um, the more I realize I don't have control of that. It's, it's not my, you know, that's where I, but to have other people automatically snap into that is not easy. Like to snap into that level of faith is definitely not easy. No it's not man, I, I agree, I agree All right, my man. For the person that's listening and man, they they they love what you're saying. They want to learn more about the real estate stuff that you got going on or anything that you're doing. Where can they connect with you to learn more about you? Where's the best place to find you, my man? Yeah. Um, just go to the Timothy Kelly dot com. Um, you'll connect with all my socials from there. It's actually at the Timothy Kelly on all the socials. LinkedIn is probably the one I'm on more than anything else. You know, Instagram, Facebook is always at the Timothy Kelly. But I mean, if this, you know, if this conversation struck a chord with you, um, and you know that you're capable of more, you could book a thirty minute clarity call directly on that website with me. It'll kind of take you through an assessment, um, a little bit. It'll give you a lot more understanding of kind of where you're at and where you want to go. Um, and we'll look, we'll just look on the call at where you're stuck, what's misaligned. And you know what your next courageous move needs to be? Awesome, man. Thanks for sharing. It will definitely be placing everything on the show notes, man, so people can find you and build a book call or, you know, and learn more about the real estate. Anything else that you're doing, because I know you're, you're super successful in real estate. Um, all right. So unfortunately, this has to come to a close. Man, this has been such a great time. I dude, uh, man, thanks for coming in here and not just giving us the highlight reels, not just coming in here and just talk about all the amazing success that you had all the time freedoms, the financial freedoms that you get to enjoy, but allowing us behind the scenes of all the stuff you've had to endure, the darkness you have, you know, the things that you weren't proud of, the things that you endured and the seasons that you had to go through. Because that, my friend, is oftentimes what is overlooked too many times, you know. And so I honor you for coming here to be vulnerable. And I respect you for, for doing that. Thank you man. Appreciate it. My pleasure. Man. I would love to do this again any time. Heck yeah. Yeah, man. Absolutely. All right. To those that are listening and watching, the gap between average and excellence is just action, even imperfect action. Listen, guys, don't just listen to Tim. Take one thing he shared today amongst all of all things he shared. Just take one thing. Could be the clarity on it. He talked about going one to ten. Do something, use it. The next twenty four hours. Also be the reason someone doesn't quit today. Don't just keep this episode to yourself. Someone in your circle needs this episode right now. Send it to them. Tim. I dude, thank you again for stepping into the arena, my man. My pleasure brother. Talk soon. Yeah, man.