The Grit Factor Podcast w/ Karl Jacobi

[00:00:04 - 00:00:06] Average is the enemy of greatness.
[00:00:07 - 00:00:10] Comfort is the enemy of growth.
[00:00:10 - 00:00:15] Welcome to the Grit Factor Podcast, where we strip away the highlight reel and get into
[00:00:15 - 00:00:22] the darkness beneath it, the real stories, the real battles, and the battle plans used
[00:00:22 - 00:00:22] to conquer them.
[00:00:23 - 00:00:29] I'm your host, Karl Jacobi, Combat Vet, Entrepreneur, Resilience and Performance Coach,
[00:00:30 - 00:00:33] keynote speaker, husband, and father.
[00:00:33 - 00:00:39] I built, scaled, and exited multiple companies totaling over 40 million in revenue.
[00:00:39 - 00:00:43] But here's what that highlight reel doesn't show you.
[00:00:43 - 00:00:49] Life has been smacking me in the face with a two by four since I was just five years old.
[00:00:50 - 00:00:56] Broken home, constant chaos, no playbook, no safety net, just grit.
[00:00:57 - 00:01:02] And if you're anything like me, you know you've got another level in you.
[00:01:03 - 00:01:07] in your business, your career, your faith, your leadership.
[00:01:07 - 00:01:10] You're just not sure how to get there.
[00:01:10 - 00:01:13] That's exactly why we're here.
[00:01:13 - 00:01:16] Be sure to follow me for more great content and check out my website,
[00:01:17 - 00:01:19] SuccessWithKarl.com.
[00:01:20 - 00:01:21] Now, that's Karl with a K.
[00:01:22 - 00:01:24] Now, let's get to work.
[00:01:28 - 00:01:32] If you've wondered why success feels empty, stay with me on this.
[00:01:33 - 00:01:36] You've hit their goal you chased for years and felt nothing.
[00:01:37 - 00:01:39] Now, here's what happened next.
[00:01:39 - 00:01:47] Everyone hands you the same two fixes, chase a bigger goal, or just be more grateful for what you've got.
[00:01:47 - 00:01:48] Sounds realistic?
[00:01:49 - 00:01:50] No, both are wrong.
[00:01:51 - 00:01:52] Both keep you empty.
[00:01:53 - 00:01:55] That feeling is not the problem.
[00:01:56 - 00:01:57] It's a signal.
[00:01:57 - 00:02:02] I learn that the hard way, and once you learn to read it, everything changes.
[00:02:02 - 00:02:04] Real quick, so you know who's talking.
[00:02:04 - 00:02:07] I'm Karl, and I've built multiple businesses started from my...
[00:02:07 - 00:02:11] a diner of table to over a $40 million in total career revenue.
[00:02:11 - 00:02:15] Then I hit the exact empty that I'm about to describe.
[00:02:15 - 00:02:16] So this isn't theory for me.
[00:02:17 - 00:02:20] I've lived every bit of it.
[00:02:20 - 00:02:21] Which brings me to you.
[00:02:22 - 00:02:27] In this video, I'm talking to the person who's already built something real.
[00:02:27 - 00:02:28] You've hit the marks.
[00:02:29 - 00:02:29] You've provided.
[00:02:30 - 00:02:34] You've got the title, the income, the house, the respect.
[00:02:34 - 00:02:37] You've won by measures that are supposed to count.
[00:02:37 - 00:02:43] Right? And there's this quiet flatness underneath you just can't explain and say out loud.
[00:02:45 - 00:02:51] Getting this wrong keeps sharp, driven people like yourself stuck for years, or decades even.
[00:02:51 - 00:02:54] It can even cost you the people you built it all for in the first place.
[00:02:55 - 00:02:59] Ask me how I know. And let me tell you, getting it right is where the fire comes back.
[00:03:00 - 00:03:04] So, let's get it right. Here's the first thing you have to see.
[00:03:04 - 00:03:08] The markers were never of a fuel. You were sold the idea that.
[00:03:08 - 00:03:10] that the goal would fill the whole.
[00:03:10 - 00:03:14] The title, the number, the next level, it was never built to.
[00:03:15 - 00:03:21] You were running on an empty tank the whole time and calling it drive or ambition even.
[00:03:22 - 00:03:28] And listen, that empty feeling is not proof you fail or that it's a you thing.
[00:03:28 - 00:03:33] Instead, it's a signal you outgrew the fuel that got you here.
[00:03:33 - 00:03:35] So it served its purpose.
[00:03:36 - 00:03:38] And here's the part nobody tells high achievers.
[00:03:38 - 00:03:40] This is not a you problem.
[00:03:41 - 00:03:43] It's just how the brain is wired.
[00:03:43 - 00:03:46] Psychologists call it hedonic adaptation.
[00:03:47 - 00:03:53] Your mind treats every win as the new normal almost the second you hit it.
[00:03:54 - 00:03:55] The house becomes normal.
[00:03:56 - 00:03:57] The income becomes normal.
[00:03:57 - 00:04:02] The expert or respect becomes normal.
[00:04:02 - 00:04:05] The wind you bled for becomes a regular Tuesday.
[00:04:05 - 00:04:06] Here's the thing.
[00:04:06 - 00:04:08] Your brain is honestly,
[00:04:08 - 00:04:10] the worst employee you've ever had.
[00:04:11 - 00:04:14] You handed the thing you bled for for 10 years.
[00:04:14 - 00:04:16] And he goes, cool, what's next?
[00:04:17 - 00:04:21] Before you've even finished the champagne, encourage you, right?
[00:04:21 - 00:04:22] Stick with me.
[00:04:22 - 00:04:25] This is the exact thing that sets you free.
[00:04:26 - 00:04:28] You see, the lift you expected fades fast.
[00:04:29 - 00:04:32] The higher climb, the quicker it resets.
[00:04:32 - 00:04:35] So the fulfillment was never going to be in the wind.
[00:04:36 - 00:04:37] Man,
[00:04:38 - 00:04:45] and Monday. So the wind was never going to be in the win. The wind was never built to hold it.
[00:04:46 - 00:04:53] Now, hear me on this. None of that means you failed or wasted a single thing. You're here
[00:04:53 - 00:05:01] because you built something most people never will. So own that. However, that empty feeling is not a
[00:05:01 - 00:05:07] fall from a high place. Instead, it's a signal from one. That is a big difference. And it changes
[00:05:07 - 00:05:09] everything about what you do next.
[00:05:09 - 00:05:14] Let me show you what this quietly costs you if you don't read the signal.
[00:05:15 - 00:05:19] There was a hospice nurse who spent years with people in their final weeks.
[00:05:20 - 00:05:26] She wrote down what they regretted the most. And there was one answer that came up over and over again.
[00:05:27 - 00:05:33] It wasn't a failed business or a deal they lost. It wasn't a title that they didn't get either.
[00:05:34 - 00:05:39] Instead, it was this. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. And I'm not talking about the
[00:05:40 - 00:05:44] effort kind of hard either. What I'm talking about is the kind that was really about
[00:05:44 - 00:05:51] proving something, the kind that kept them away from the very people that they were doing it all
[00:05:51 - 00:05:56] for in the first place. And what they talked about was missing their kids grown up,
[00:05:56 - 00:06:02] missing the people who were right in front of them the entire time. I know that one from the
[00:06:02 - 00:06:08] inside. For years, I chased wins and a scoreboard. And underneath it, I was chasing acceptance
[00:06:08 - 00:06:13] I never got when I was young. You see, my worth was tied to the hours I put in. Not the results,
[00:06:13 - 00:06:19] not the hours. And when I sat still, I felt like I was losing, like my brain was screaming.
[00:06:20 - 00:06:25] Quit being lazy. Then one day it caught up with me. I was in my living room and I asked my daughter,
[00:06:25 - 00:06:32] who was 16 years old at the time, how she felt about everything I provided. Imagine this conversation
[00:06:32 - 00:06:37] for a moment. The house, the vehicles, the camps, the vacations,
[00:06:38 - 00:06:45] I expected to her to feel proud, taken care of. Instead, she dropped the one word I was not
[00:06:45 - 00:06:55] prepared for. She says she felt abandoned. Abandoned. That one word came out of nowhere,
[00:06:56 - 00:07:02] and it froze me. It broke me in a way that no business failure could ever do. And here's the honest part.
[00:07:02 - 00:07:08] In that moment, I knew something had to change. And yet I still had no idea how.
[00:07:09 - 00:07:16] grinding and staying in motion was the only skill I had. I never learned how to stop.
[00:07:16 - 00:07:24] So my friends, that's the signal and that's the cost. Now comes the question. So now the question
[00:07:24 - 00:07:31] becomes, what do you do with it? Right? At least I hope so. And this is where almost everyone
[00:07:31 - 00:07:40] goes wrong in one or two ways. As for me, I did the most high achiever thing humanely possible.
[00:07:40 - 00:07:47] Try not work it. I tried to outwork the feeling. Like the emptiness was just one more target
[00:07:47 - 00:07:53] I can hit if I just grind it a little harder. Let me tell you, that went great, by the way.
[00:07:54 - 00:08:00] Zero for 100. The first wrong fix is the chase a bigger goal. So what happens? You tell yourself
[00:08:00 - 00:08:07] the next number will finally do it, right? The bigger exit, the bigger title, to add a comma in a bank
[00:08:07 - 00:08:09] account, the next level up.
[00:08:10 - 00:08:18] the same fuel in a bigger tank. You'll get there and it goes flat. And the finish line just
[00:08:18 - 00:08:26] moves again and again. And right about now, some of you are thinking, hold on, Karl, isn't ambition
[00:08:26 - 00:08:34] the problem here? Hmm. Good one. No, ambition is not the problem. You see, ambition pointed
[00:08:34 - 00:08:41] at the wrong fuel is the problem. The second wrong fix is the opposite. You force gratitude and
[00:08:41 - 00:08:48] try to want less. You tell yourself just to be thankful and shrink the wanting down until
[00:08:48 - 00:08:57] the emptiness feeling fits. Sounds like the humble or responsible thing to do, doesn't it? But you see,
[00:08:57 - 00:09:03] that's the very trap right here. That's not peace. That's going numb with better branding. And look,
[00:09:03 - 00:09:09] don't get me wrong. Gratitude is good. I'm a grateful man, especially in this season. But understand
[00:09:09 - 00:09:12] gratitude is seasoning. It is not the meal.
[00:09:12 - 00:09:19] it cannot be your engine. I know this because I tried outrun this feeling by setting more goals
[00:09:19 - 00:09:27] than I can count. I think if I could stack one more win, it would finally quiet down. It never
[00:09:27 - 00:09:35] did. Here's why both of those fail. Both of those treat the goal as the problem. Chase a bigger one
[00:09:35 - 00:09:42] or one a smaller one. But the goal is never the problem. The fuel was. So let me give you the thing that
[00:09:42 - 00:09:48] finally made it click for me. There are two kinds of fuel, borrow fuel and built fuel.
[00:09:49 - 00:09:57] Borrow fuel is approval, proof, comparison, and somebody else's scoreboard. It burns hot and it gets you
[00:09:57 - 00:10:03] moving fast, kind of like an espresso shot. That's my jam, by the way. But it leaves you empty because
[00:10:03 - 00:10:13] it was never yours to begin with. That was my fuel for years, decades actually. Built fuel is
[00:10:13 - 00:10:21] different. It's your own why, your own standard, the person you're actually becoming.
[00:10:22 - 00:10:29] It's quieter and it lasts. And here's the catch that most people miss. You don't think
[00:10:29 - 00:10:38] your way to a built fuel. You act your way to it. One small rep at a time. You see clarity comes
[00:10:38 - 00:10:45] after you move. Not before. So hear what that actually means. That is. That is.
[00:10:45 - 00:10:50] empty feeling was never you failing or anything that your brain screaming at you. It was you
[00:10:50 - 00:10:57] running on the wrong fuel. So the good news here is it's not a flaw to fix. Instead, it's a tank to
[00:10:57 - 00:11:04] switch. If this is landing, I put together a free video series that walks through this whole
[00:11:04 - 00:11:12] rebuild step by step. What song does that remind me of? Can't shake that one. It's called
[00:11:12 - 00:11:19] a grit hode exposed and then just carry a thing else. If he doesn't, if you don't think of
[00:11:19 - 00:11:24] fits and remove it. For whatever reason, I said that, that song just kind of jump in mind.
[00:11:27 - 00:11:33] Here's how you rebuild the fuel. It's four moves. Move one. Name the real chase.
[00:11:34 - 00:11:43] Under the goal, what were you actually after? Was it approval? Safety? Proof that you are enough?
[00:11:43 - 00:11:53] Say it loud. Naming it takes its power back. Move two. Audit your fuel. Look at every
[00:11:53 - 00:12:04] driving you right now and mark each one. Borrowed or built? And listen, be honest here. I can't stress
[00:12:04 - 00:12:13] that enough. And going through this, most people are shocked how much of it is borrowed. And that's good
[00:12:13 - 00:12:25] news. Move three. Rebuild the foundation. Your beliefs, your vision, and your real why. You cannot build the next
[00:12:25 - 00:12:30] version of you on the old field. And deep down, you know this. This is foundation work.
[00:12:31 - 00:12:37] Not a new target. This is the deepest of the four. It's the core of the framework I walk my
[00:12:37 - 00:12:44] clients and members through, and it's the one most people want to immediately rush. Don't. This is the
[00:12:44 - 00:12:52] one that holds all the others up. Lastly, move four. Take one aligned action before you feel ready.
[00:12:52 - 00:12:55] In fact, I want to challenge you to do it today.
[00:12:55 - 00:13:04] Here's what I've learned. Movement is what turns the new fuel on through repeated reps in the same direction.
[00:13:04 - 00:13:11] And let me warn you, you will not feel clear at first, so don't expect it. Clarity is the reward for moving.
[00:13:11 - 00:13:19] It is not the requirement. Do one thing today that lines up with the built fuel even before you feel ready.
[00:13:20 - 00:13:25] Let me tell you the moment this got real for me the second time around, as if the first time wasn't enough to
[00:13:25 - 00:13:30] get my attention, right? A couple of years after that living room, I was sitting in a
[00:13:30 - 00:13:33] photography studio with my wife going through my youngest daughter's senior pictures.
[00:13:34 - 00:13:41] Like any father, I was beamy, proud of everything she'd become, and who she's becoming.
[00:13:42 - 00:13:49] And then we got to the parent photos. And the only parent in them was my wife. I wasn't there.
[00:13:50 - 00:13:55] I'd been out chasing while the life I built happened without me. Now understand, I didn't say a word.
[00:13:55 - 00:13:57] I just sat with it.
[00:13:57 - 00:13:58] kept it to myself.
[00:13:59 - 00:14:00] Here's how I see it now.
[00:14:00 - 00:14:03] Call it life, the universe, or God.
[00:14:03 - 00:14:05] For me, it was definitely God.
[00:14:05 - 00:14:10] And he had been dropping pebbles for years to get my attention.
[00:14:11 - 00:14:17] That living room, this photo studio, one morning after another.
[00:14:17 - 00:14:19] And I kept missing them.
[00:14:20 - 00:14:22] So when I still wouldn't move, guess what?
[00:14:22 - 00:14:24] He dropped the boulder.
[00:14:24 - 00:14:26] And that's a story for another day.
[00:14:26 - 00:14:27] But it's the thing.
[00:14:27 - 00:14:31] that finally broke me open and put me on the path I'm on right now.
[00:14:32 - 00:14:34] And here's the part that still gets me.
[00:14:35 - 00:14:41] I started building in the first place to teach my kids to control their own destiny.
[00:14:43 - 00:14:52] And the whole time, the chase to prove that was costing me the one thing they actually needed my presence.
[00:14:54 - 00:14:56] You see, the fix was never a bigger whim.
[00:14:57 - 00:15:00] It was just switching the fuel.
[00:15:00 - 00:15:06] from proving my worth to being present for the life I've already built.
[00:15:06 - 00:15:10] So here's what changes when you get this right.
[00:15:10 - 00:15:12] The work starts to feel like yours again.
[00:15:13 - 00:15:17] The fire comes back and it's quieter and steady than the old one.
[00:15:17 - 00:15:23] You have a sense of joy, peace, fulfillment that you've missed for so long.
[00:15:23 - 00:15:28] Ambition stops draining you and starts fueling you.
[00:15:29 - 00:15:31] And you get to be present for the people you built it all for.
[00:15:31 - 00:15:39] for. That, my friends, is the whole thing. So if you're still sitting there with everything
[00:15:39 - 00:15:46] you're supposed to want and still feel empty, hear me. You're not alone. And it's not
[00:15:46 - 00:15:54] anything to do with you. And listen, it's not that you're ungrateful. You just outgrew your old
[00:15:54 - 00:16:01] fuel. That is not the end of your story. In fact, I'd be inclined to say that's a graduation because
[00:16:01 - 00:16:09] it's the start of the next version of you. So do it scare. Start before you feel ready because
[00:16:09 - 00:16:15] you're never going to feel ready. The clarity will meet you on the way. Trust me, I know this from
[00:16:15 - 00:16:23] experience. If you want the full walkthrough of rebuilding that fuel, go watch the Grit Code
[00:16:23 - 00:16:30] exposed. It's a free video series, seven short videos, absolutely no cost. The link is in description
[00:16:30 - 00:16:32] and pin in the comments.
[00:16:34 - 00:16:38] Go start today and share this episode. I'll see you in the next one.