Episode 048: He Asked God to Break Him. The Answer Arrived the Next Morning with Evan Poling.

Episode Summary
Evan Poling is in the middle of his fight right now. No victory lap. No bonus chapter. Two and a half years into building Biz Retire, fifty thousand dollars of his own money gone, working a part time job at a business consultancy to pay the bills while his wife carries the financial weight at home, and the people closest to him still quietly wondering if he should just get a real job. He is not here to tell you it worked out. He is here to tell you what it actually costs to keep going when nothing has moved yet.

But underneath the business story is a prayer he made as a young man that landed differently than he expected. He was sleeping in a house with his grandparents visiting, lying on the living room floor under skylights, and he prayed something he meant without fully understanding the implications. God, break me and remake me. The next morning his ROTC scholarship was gone. An hour later he was fired from his gas station job. Then he went to his girlfriend's house, jerked the wheel on a newly paved road, and fractured his spine. She shattered her heel. Her parents sued. All in the span of about twenty four hours. He finished college with no student loan debt anyway. He met his wife through a different kind of crazy prayer. He found healing from an addiction to pornography he had carried since childhood through a men's group he almost never had the courage to walk into. And he built a resume exposing financial crimes at some of the largest banks in the world before walking away from all of it to bet on himself.

He is an Army National Guard veteran, a former combat medic, a double major in accounting and financial economics, and a man who discovered embezzlement at Raising Cane's that led to fourteen arrests in his first financial analyst role. He understands money better than almost anyone in the room. And he knows now that money is a result, not a goal. The people who chase it as a goal will compromise everything to get it. He watched them do it. He almost became one of them.
This episode is for the man who has been grinding in isolation, carrying something he has never said out loud, and wondering if the prayer he made actually got heard.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:
  1. What Evan actually saw inside the financial crimes world at Chase and other major banks, how a financial analyst role at Raising Cane's led to fourteen arrests from his embezzlement analysis, and what a decade of tracking how money actually moves taught him about what is broken at the heart of how most people relate to wealth
  2. Why Evan engineered himself out of his own job by teaching his team lead to do his work, gave away four team members to another team, and ended up working four to five hours a week before his employer eventually let him go, and what the transition from W-2 to entrepreneurship actually felt like when the busyness that got rewarded in corporate stopped working
  3. The night under the skylights and the prayer that started it all: God, break me and remake me, and the next morning sequence of a lost scholarship, a firing, a car accident, a fractured spine, and a lawsuit landing within hours of each other
  4. The addiction to pornography Evan has carried since childhood, how he tried to pray it away and read his Bible harder and do all of it in isolation for years, and what finally changed when he walked into a men's group called Revive Forty and spoke it out loud to twenty people who had been there themselves
  5. What seventy percent of Christian men struggling with pornography actually means in raw numbers for the United States, and why Evan believes both the shame and the silence are the weapons that keep men locked inside it
  6. How Evan's wife has quietly held the family together financially while he builds Biz Retire, the infertility they have been navigating at the same time, and the honest admission about the pride cost of earning less now than he did twelve years ago
  7. Why eighty percent of businesses that go to market never sell, what owners get wrong about the value they have actually built versus the potential they think a buyer should pay for, and what it looks like to package your business like a product rather than a personal legacy
  8. The vision Evan is building toward with Biz Retire, a platform that connects business owners, buyers, and advisors directly without the inefficient broker-in-the-middle model that dominates the industry today
Key Takeaways:
  1. Choose Your Hard. Evan's directive when faced with any difficult decision. Being fat is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being broke is hard. Building something uncertain is hard. Choose your hard. At every crossroads, both directions have a cost. The only question is which cost you can live with. Pick the one that builds something and go.
  2. Money Is a Result. Not a Goal. Evan watched people cross every line imaginable to get it. He saw the most successful general manager at Raising Cane's embezzling from the register because they had decided they deserved more. The condition of the heart that puts money at the top of the priority list will eventually justify anything. Service first. Money follows real value. The Bible says it. Evan has seen the alternative.
  3. Speaking It Out Loud Steals Its Power. Whatever you are carrying in silence is heavier than it has to be. Evan carried a pornography addiction for years in isolation, praying it away, trying harder alone. The night he walked into a room of twenty men and said it out loud, something broke. James 5:16 is not a religious cliche. It is a mechanism. Confession shared loses its grip. Confession buried tightens it.
  4. The Busyness That Gets Rewarded in a W-2 Will Betray You in a Business. Showing up is nine tenths of the battle in a corporate job. In entrepreneurship it is nothing. The discipline that moves the needle is not hours logged. It is effective action on the things that actually matter, done consistently, in a direction that serves a real market need. Most people carry the old system into the new game and wonder why the scoreboard does not move.
  5. God Does Not Break You to Punish You. He Breaks You to Rebuild You. Evan prayed that prayer haphazardly, without fully understanding what he was inviting. The next day looked catastrophic. The next decade looked like redemption. No student loan debt. The love of his life. A faith that became his own instead of borrowed. Looking back at the boulder, it is obvious. In the middle of it, it was just pain. That is always the sequence.
  6. Productive Procrastination Is Still Procrastination. The tasks that feel like productivity, knocking out emails, reorganizing files, clearing inboxes, are dopamine hits that confirm you are busy without moving the needle. Every entrepreneur who came from a W-2 world brings this habit with them. Recognizing it is the first step. Building the tolerance to sit with the discomfort of doing the scary high-leverage thing instead is the actual work.
  7. Package Your Business Like a Product Before You Try to Sell It. Eighty percent of businesses that go to market will never sell. Not because they have no value. Because the owner has not made the value visible, documented, and transferable. A buyer does not want to buy a job. They want to buy a machine. If you cannot step away and have it run, you have not built a business. You have built a dependency on yourself.
  8. Imagine Your Funeral. Then Build Backwards. Evan's question for the next guest is the most clarifying exercise in the episode. When people stand up at your funeral, what will they actually say? Is that what you are currently building? If the gap between the legacy you want and the life you are living is visible, that gap is the most important work you have left to do.
Timestamps:
  • [00:00] Karl introduces Evan Poling: Army National Guard veteran, combat medic, anti-money laundering specialist, financial crimes investigator, and a man fifty thousand dollars deep into building Biz Retire with nothing to show yet
  • [03:00] The Raising Cane's embezzlement discovery, fourteen arrests from one financial analysis, and how that landed Evan in the anti-money laundering world of major banks
  • [07:00] Ten years in financial crimes compliance at Chase and beyond, becoming the person who touched every bucket, and the Covid-era efficiency that made his employer question why they were still paying him
  • [11:00] Walking away from the W-2, the discomfort of being a beginner in public after a decade of expertise, and the productive procrastination trap every ex-corporate entrepreneur falls into
  • [15:00] Karl's ad break: The Grit Code Exposed at https://gritcodeexposed.com
  • [16:00] What it has actually cost Evan to keep going: wife carrying the financial load, infertility navigated under the stress of uncertainty, an ultimatum, and working a part time job that pays less than he has earned in twelve years
  • [21:00] The grandparents who modeled a fifty-five year marriage, the conversation about the relationship foundation that was being built on the wrong thing, and the night under the skylights
  • [26:00] The prayer: God, break me and remake me. The scholarship gone, the job gone, the car accident, the fractured spine, the shattered heel, the lawsuit, all in one morning
  • [31:00] The redemption sequence: college finished with essentially no debt, a wife found through another crazy prayer, a faith that became his own
  • [35:00] Money is a result not a goal: what a decade in financial crimes teaches you about the heart condition behind every economic crime
  • [39:00] Karl's ad break: The Grit Code Exposed at https://gritcodeexposed.com
  • [40:00] Community as the missing variable: why isolation compounded every struggle, and what leaning on community actually looks like beyond a generic answer
  • [44:00] The forbidden shame topic: discovering pornography as a child, using it as a coping mechanism for twenty plus years, trying to pray it away alone, and what finally changed
  • [49:00] Revive Forty, speaking it in a room of twenty men, and why James 5:16 works as a mechanism not just a verse
  • [54:00] The seventy percent number, what it means for forty million Christian men in the United States, and what Evan says to the guy who has never told anyone
  • [58:00] The gym, the sobriety, the discipline built in private, and how the physical rebuild connects to the business rebuild
  • [01:02:00] Biz Retire explained: what is broken about the current business brokerage model, why eighty percent of businesses that go to market never sell, and what Evan is building instead
  • [01:07:00] The platform vision: connecting business owners, buyers, and advisors directly, removing the broker-in-the-middle model, and the budget restrictions that are forcing creative solutions
  • [01:11:00] Grit defined: holding on to a greater purpose and doing everything you can to move toward it in reasonable and sometimes unreasonable ways
  • [01:12:00] The directive: choose your hard
  • [01:14:00] Dr. Matthew Harmody's question from Episode 46: was there ever a moment you considered quitting earlier, or have you stuck with something longer than you should have?
  • [01:16:00] Evan's answer: his entire corporate career, the conviction that he was built for more, and the step of faith with no results yet
  • [01:18:00] Evan's question for the next guest: imagine your funeral. What will people say about you? Is that the legacy you are currently building?
  • [01:19:00] Where to find Evan and Karl's close
Resources & Links:
  • Men's Group: Revive Forty at revive40.com (Phoenix-based, expanding nationally, twenty-five years of helping men find freedom from pornography addiction, includes a partner program called Beloved for spouses)
  • Challenge: The Grit Code Exposed at https://gritcodeexposed.com
Connect with Evan Poling:
Connect with Karl Jacobi:

Creators and Guests

Karl Jacobi
Host
Karl Jacobi
Host of The Grit Factor Podcast, Resilience & Performance Coach, Founder, Entrepreneur, Combat Veteran
Episode 048: He Asked God to Break Him. The Answer Arrived the Next Morning with Evan Poling.
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